Recently, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about confronting others. Sometimes when the world is walking all over me I smile and pretend that nothing is happening.

My problem is confrontation. I find it hard to confront the people I care about. Why? I am scared of ruining a relationship.

I used to twist myself into knots and put up being unhappy because I believed that self-worth was determined by the approval of others.

sonila rekaIt’s almost impossible for a total stranger to ruin my day; I can easily confront someone, I don’t have an emotional connection to, if they are behaving unfairly.

Sometimes I may even choose to not get caught up in someone else’s negative behaviour, and just let go.

My dilemma has always been not knowing how to confront the people I love. If I ever did ‘stick up for myself’, it left me feeling worried, ashamed and concerned.

I have finally learned that I cannot control what anyone thinks of me, if I try to please people at all times – I am just playing a losing game. The truth is, confrontation does not have to be ugly.

If done correctly, it should actually strengthen a relationship by opening up lines of communications.