Why a guy cheats?

why a guy cheatsCall me a naive woman if you like but I’ve always believed that cheating is wrong. It’s deceiving, manipulating and heartbreaking.

Just like money, love doesn’t grow on trees – you need to earn it, take care of it and not fool around with it [a fool and his money are soon parted].

I see cheaters as nothing more but snakes in the grass [women and men]. If you give them your heart, they’ll try to take your soul and they’ll stomp on it if they think they can get away with it.

But being judgemental doesn’t really teach you anything, this is why I decided to give the devil his due. I met up and interviewed a guy who has cheated on every single girl he has been with since he was 19 years old [apart from the one he is with now …. he says].

I have agreed to keep his identity a secret [I am biting my tongue hard] but I can tell you that he is in his 20’s, good looking and somewhat successful.

In this article I am going to refer to him as Tom [not his real name].

why a guy cheats

Why do you cheat?

Tom: I cheat when I am tipsy or drunk. I have never cheated on anyone whilst sober. I do it because at the time my judgement is impaired and I am often not thinking straight. I do it because I think I can get away with it and because unlike the confident exterior which I probably portray – I am actually slightly insecure and use it as an ego boost to know I can still get with not just one woman.

Is the drunken part just an excuse [do you get drunk with the intention of pulling a girl]?

Tom: No. I am being honest.

Do you love your girlfriend?

Tom: Yes. I would do anything for her. At the beginning of the relationship I stopped going out for her because I knew what I am like once I get drunk [that must be real love *sarcasm*].

Do you think you can ever stop cheating?

Tom: I think any guy who is around a fit girl that is not his girlfriend and gets the opportunity to cheat then he will [we take that as a no].

Would you forgive your girlfriend if she cheated on you?

Tom: I don’t think I would. For a guy sex is just sex – we don’t have to feel anything to enjoy it but for a woman it is a different story. If my girlfriend cheated on me then she must have felt something for the guy – it’s not the same [he did admit that MAYBE eventually he would forgive her].

Why are you so sure she hasn’t cheated on you already?

Tom: Because I just know she wouldn’t. She’s not that kind of girl.

What is your kind of girl?

Tom: For a serious relationship, she needs to be very nice, respect herself, the kind of girl a guy would want to marry. So basically the opposite to me [just what I was thinking]. I would never get in a relationship with a ‘crazy girl’.

why guys cheat

What I found intriguing was when Tom revealed a lot of the girls he used to cheat on his ex’s with knew that he was in a relationship.

Some didn’t care, for others it was a challenge and a few ‘niave’ girls thought Tom would leave his girlfriend and change for them [he never did].

Tom: Once a girl left her boyfriend, hoping I would leave my girlfriend for her. But what I don’t understand is why she thought I would be someone different if  I started a relationship with her?

why men cheat